The new life Last week, was the first losing week, ive had in
a while, and man it was bad ! Everything seemed to go pear
shaped, and eventually it impacted on the way i played.
By friday i didnt even know what to do.

Imagine going to your regular job, and having that feeling
that if you sit down at your desk, you'll just lose a
lot of money. Well thats the worse state of mind to be in.

Its happened b4 , when ive lost my golf swing, and i look
down at the club and i dont know where the ball is going
to go. Im just hoping that the stupid ball will go relatively
straight and not off on a 45 degree path. My dad had a good
way of explaining handicaps to me when I was young. If your
off 8, youd have an 8 degree variance in your shots from
its intended trajectory, and if you were a high handicap player
your shots could vary as much as 32 degrees. So if u wanted to
be good, off a low handicap, u had to consistently hit it
straight ! Well handicaps stopped at 32, and my shots on these
days would vary by 50 plus degrees ! Argh it was terrible.

And the same situation seemed to come in with me for poker.
Ppl were saying i needed a break, and may be they were right,
but for golf, when it happened i just had to keep it balls
till i rediscovered wat i used to do.

So taking that mentalitly into poker, i kept playing. And not
surprisingly it didnt improve. When losing b4, i didnt mind,
its part and parcel of the game, coz i knew most of the time
i was playing well, i could feel like i had been unlucky. But
here something was wrong. In a series of 14 games yesterday,
i finished 4th 6 times !! 4th pays nothing. Im sure its not
inconceiveable but wat was going on ??

In golf, when things arent going well, u can see your coach,
and he can help sort things out. In poker , i guess im my
own coach, and i didnt have any obvious answers.

Towards the end of the week i had lost everything i made in
the first 2 weeks. Wow this was a good start to the new job.
But it allowed me to sit back and say wat do i really want to
do ? Getting perspective sometimes is important. Whilst I still
havent got any answers but hopefully im getting closer.  ¶ 5:29 PM